The first thing for the real seeker, for the seeker who has become a little alert, aware, is to define the search; to formulate a clear-cut concept of it, what it is; to bring it out of the dreaming consciousness; to encounter it in deep alertness, to look into it directly; to face it. Immediately a transformation starts happening. If you start defining your search, you will start losing your interest in the search. The more defined it becomes, the less it is there. Once it is clearly known what it is, suddenly it disappears. It exists only when you are not attentive.
Let it be repeated: the search exists only when you are sleepy; the search exists only when you are not aware; the search exists only in your unawareness. The unawareness creates the search.
Yes, Rabia is right. Inside there is no light. And because there is no light and no consciousness inside, of course you go on searching outside – because outside it seems more clear.
Our senses are all extrovert. The eyes open outwards, the hands move, spread outwards, the legs move into the outside, the ears listen to the outside noises, sounds. Whatsoever is available to you is all opening towards the outside; all the five senses move in an extrovert way. You start searching there where you see, feel, touch – the light of the senses falls outside. And the seeker is inside.
This dichotomy has to be understood. The seeker is inside, but because the light is outside, the seeker starts moving in an ambitious way, trying to find something outside which will be fulfilling.
It is never going to happen. It has never happened. It cannot happen in the nature of things – because, unless you have first sought the seeker, all your search is meaningless. Unless you come to know who you are, all that you seek is futile because you don’t know the seeker. Without knowing the seeker how can you move in the right dimension, in the right direction? It is impossible. The first things should be considered first.
So these two things are very important: first, make it absolutely clear to yourself what your object is. Don’t just go on stumbling in darkness. Focus your attention on the object – what you are really searching for. Because sometimes you want one thing and you go on searching for something else, so even if you succeed you will not be fulfilled. Have you seen people who have succeeded? Can you find bigger failures anywhere else? You have heard the proverb that nothing succeeds like success. It is absolutely wrong. I would like to tell you: nothing fails like success. The proverb must have been invented by stupid people. Nothing fails like success.
It is said about Alexander the Great that the day he became the world conqueror he closed the doors of his room and started weeping. I don’t know whether it really happened or not, but if he was even a little intelligent it must have happened.
His generals were very disturbed. What has happened? They had never seen Alexander weeping. He was not that type of man, he was a great warrior. They had seen him in great difficulties, in situations where life was very much in danger, where death was very imminent, and they had not seen even a tear coming out of his eyes. They had never seen him in any desperate, hopeless moment. What has happened to him now – now when he has succeeded, when he is the world conqueror?