Your leaving is premature because you have just started to move in from the periphery and things would have started happening.
Isn’t it possible for things to happen anywhere, if they were going to happen at all?
But for the first glimpse one needs a suitable situation, and after that you have a thread in your hands. Then the journey may be long, and the goal far away, but you live in the certainty that it is going to happen, that it is happening.
Even after all this time it has not happened to you. As I feel it, you were just coming in a little. But it happens…the mind is very defensive. And good, mind’s function is that – to remain alert and not to fall into any trap. But because of it you can miss, too.
Well, this is certainly the message I’ve been getting all the time – that my mind is too much there.
I know, you have cultivated it for so long, and that’s why it is there. You have nourished it, enjoyed it – that’s why it is there. Now the only thing is to start enjoying something which has nothing to do with the mind.
I do, I enjoy music. It’s my life, so to speak.
That’s good, but still I feel you enjoy it from the mind. You are not lost in it. One can intellectually enjoy music, the subtleties of it. Then it becomes a beautiful intellectual effort; very subtle, but intellectual.
But to enjoy music as a madman is totally different. Then you are lost in it; it takes possession of you. As I feel it you have always avoided anything that can possess you, that can go beyond your control. You are happy up to a certain extent, when everything is in your control and the mind remains the manipulator and sovereign in you.
And that has happened to many people. This whole age is mind-obsessed. And it is not without reason – mind has achieved so much, and particularly in the West. The East has to learn from the West of the ways of the mind. Right now the West is too enthusiastic about the mind – its ways and achievements. The mind has almost conquered nature; traveled to the moon, and reached into the secrets of nature. Mind has proved its metal. So whenever you have to move away from the mind, you start feeling hesitant. Now you are moving into ways which are not of the mind, and mind becomes alert.