Osho speaks to a seeker who has just learned that her father has died.
How are you feeling? Your father had been ill at all?
No, but he was seventy-three. He lived a full life, so I don’t feel sad. And I feel it was good he died on your birthday!
Yes, that was good. Death should never be a cause to be sad. If one has lived, and lived well, loved, and loved well, then there is no cause to be sad about it. A death can be as beautiful as life can be beautiful. All lives are not beautiful and all deaths are not ugly. And the death depends basically on the life. It is the culmination, the crescendo, the total life in a sense. But that is not the point.
When somebody dies, you don’t cry and weep for him – you cry and weep for yourself. Every death reminds you of your own death. And in every death a part of you dies – and particularly the death of a father, a mother, a wife, a husband, a friend – someone with whom you have been closely related, with whom you have been involved.
When they disappear, something within you disappears – an emptiness is left. That emptiness has to be lived. So if you feel like crying, cry; if you feel like weeping, weep. Don’t suppress it in any way, and don’t avoid it in any way. Don’t rationalize – because we always rationalize. If you rationalize and you avoid the fact, then something like a wound will remain with you. So cry and weep and let tears come. And if you want to, talk to your father, say the things you always wanted to say and couldn’t. Be a small child and allow the emotion to possess you.
This is one of the problems for the modern mind. We rationalize everything, and by rationalizing we suppress things. And that can be very dangerous because it poisons the whole system. That’s why I called you.
Just close your eyes and let death happen. (Osho shines his penlight in the area of her third eye; she blanches, swallows hard and begins to sway slowly.) Good. And tonight, before you go to sleep, just sit on the bed and allow it. It will be coming; it is there. Allow it to take possession – it has to be lived. If you cannot live it right now, then later on it will become a problem – it will always be there. This is how we go on accumulating unlived experiences.
Each moment has to be lived so totally that you are finished with it. It may be love, it may be death, it may be anything else – but live it totally. And don’t be wise about it, don’t let the head have its say; rather, listen to the heart.