Looking into what is my enemy number one, I remembered that as a child when my father used to beat me with a belt or sometimes even a whip, I would not cry or in anyway show him I was hurting. As soon as he would let me go, I would sing, thinking over and over again, “I would rather die than surrender.”
This everyday self-hypnosis for years must have created a subtle attitude of passive resistance.
Being with you I have not had much opportunity to watch this resistance because being available to you and your work is the only thing that matters to me now. But my fear is: how deep has this childish determination not to surrender gone? And how can I allow it to surface?
The attitude of not surrendering is in everyone. It is something natural. It simply means that nature wants you to be yourself, not somebody else’s idea of you.
So when such a situation arises in childhood, that you have to constantly fight against surrendering, the idea goes very deep. It is a natural idea. Nothing is wrong in it. This has to be understood very clearly, that there is nothing wrong in it. It can be used in a right way, it can be used in a wrong way, but the idea itself is very natural.
People can exploit you, using your own natural instincts; people can also help you to grow in the right direction, using the same natural instincts.
So the first thing you have to do is you have to drop the idea that there is something wrong that you have repressed within yourself. There is nothing wrong in it. It is perfectly good that you did not surrender, that you resisted, that you kept your identity safe and well guarded.
As far as the world is concerned, up to this point everything is absolutely right. The problem arises only with the wrong kind of teacher, who again asks you to surrender.
The right master never asks you to surrender. His very presence is enough.
There is no need for him to ask for any surrender. Just in his presence you feel so perfectly accepted that the question of rejecting him, the question of creating a wall between him and you, does not arise. There is no passive resistance.
The problem arises only if you happen to be with a wrong kind of teacher; one who is not a master, one who has not a presence, one who has not yet realized himself, one who is simply repeating somebody else’s words, quoting scriptures – the kind of man who is between inverted commas. He will insist for surrender.
And anybody who insists on surrender, resist him, because the very effort by anybody to impose himself upon somebody else is against human dignity.
I don’t want you to surrender. I want you to be yourself, purely and simply just your natural being. That’s enough. It will create the bridge between me and you.
I am not here to enslave you spiritually.
I am here to make you free from all spiritual enslavement.
The people who have been asking for surrender are asking for slavery in the name of spirituality. And millions of people on the earth are just living in a spiritual slavery – with different names – Christians, Hindus, Jews, Buddhists. It doesn’t matter what name, but they have surrendered their freedom, they have surrendered their awareness, they have surrendered their capacity to choose what is right and what is wrong.