The real problem is that one becomes deceived by one’s own deceptions. You talk about compassion… In India we talk so much about compassion, nonviolence, everyone thinks that he is nonviolent, but if you look at a person’s acts, at his relationships, at his gestures, he is violent. But he is not aware that he is violent. He may be violent even in his nonviolence. If he is trying to force others to be nonviolent, that is violence. If he is forcing himself to be nonviolent, that is violence. To be authentic means he must understand and realize what is his real state of mind – not ideas, not principles, but the state of mind. What is his state of mind? Is he violent? Is he angry?

This is what is meant by Shiva when he says, be authentic. Know what is the real, your fact, because only a fact can be changed. If you want to transform yourself, you must know your facticity. You cannot change a fiction. You are violent and you think that you are nonviolent – then there is no possibility of any transformation. That nonviolence is nowhere, so you cannot change. And the violence is there, but you are not aware of it, so how can you change it?

First know the facts as they are. How to know the facts? Encounter them without your interpretations. That is what yesterday’s sutra said: Consider. Your servant has come – consider how you look at your servant. Your boss has come into the room – consider how you look at your boss. Is the look the same when you look at your servant as when you look at your boss? Are your eyes the same, or is there any difference? If there is any difference you are a violent man.

You do not look personally at the man, at the human being, your look is an interpretation. If he is rich you look in a certain way; if he is poor you look in a different way. Your look becomes economical. You are not looking at the man right before you, you are looking at some bank balance. And if the man is poor, your look has a subtle violence in it, a degrading, insulting look. If the man is rich you have a subtle appreciation, a welcome. A deep concern is there always, whatsoever you are doing.

Look at your concern. You are angry at your son or at your daughter, and you say you are angry for his or her sake, for his or her good. Go deep down; consider whether it is true. Your son has been disobedient and you are angry. You say you want to change him because it is for his own good. Look within and consider the fact. Is the fact that you are thinking about his good, or do you simply feel insulted because he has disobeyed you? You feel hurt because he has disobeyed you. Your ego is hurt because he has disobeyed you.

If your ego is hurt, this is the fact, and you go on pretending that that is not the thing – that you are just thinking about his good, and that is why you are angry. You are angry just for him; you are not really angry. How can you be angry? You are a loving father, so you are not angry at all. How can you be angry? You love him so much, but because he is going on a wrong path, because of your love, you want to change him, and that is why you are angry. You are just pretending to be angry to help him.

But is this the fact? Are you just pretending, or do you feel hurt because he has disobeyed you? And are you so sure that whatsoever you say is right for him? Go deep down within yourself, look at the fact, consider it – and be authentic. If you are really offended by his disobedience, then know it well that you are offended and you feel hurt, and that is why you are angry. This is being authentic.