She said, “But this was his dying wish. He wanted to see you, and I love him so much that I could not say no. In his happiness is my happiness, and if he can die contented I will feel I have fulfilled my duty, my love.”
No complaint about the man, about his whole behavior. No jealousy against the woman. Love knows no jealousy, love knows no complaint: love is a deep understanding. You love someone – that does not mean that the other should love you also. It is not a contract.
Try to understand the meaning of love. You will not be able to understand the meaning of love by your so-called love affairs. Strangely enough, you will understand the meaning of love by going deep into meditation, by becoming more silent, more together, more at ease. You will start radiating a certain energy. You will become loving, and you will know the beautiful qualities of love. It knows to say yes, it also knows to say no. It is not blind. But it has to come out of your meditation – only then does love have eyes; otherwise love is blind.
And unless love has eyes, it is worthless. It is going to create more and more trouble for you – because two blind persons with blind expectations are not only going to double the troubles of life, they are going to multiply the troubles of life.
So be silent and be alert. Be loving.
And you can say no with great love. No does not mean that you are un-loving; yes does not mean that you are loving. Sometimes yes may mean that you are simply afraid, it is out of fear. So it is not necessarily that love means yes and you cannot say no. Love with eyes knows when to say no, when to say yes. Love neither interferes in anybody’s life nor allows anybody else to interfere into one’s own life. Love gives individuality to others, but does not lose its own individuality.
And it is not a question of Western or Eastern – what I am saying is applicable to all. Just because you have asked the question as if the problem is because you come from the West… It has to be understood well: it is not a question of your coming from the West; it is a problem because reason and heart are always in conflict. And the West is more rationalist, but the West has spread all over the world through its empires and through its educational systems. Now it is very difficult to find a purely Eastern man. The West has poisoned everybody. Reason has become supreme. So try to understand it in terms of reason and heart, not in terms of West and East. Because even in the East, for the people who are living in their reason – and all people who are cultured, educated, are living in their reason – the problem is the same.
The heart has its own language, reason has its own language, and they are not necessarily always in agreement. Most probably they are in disagreement, because reason thinks in a different dimension.