It will be difficult for you to face God directly, the Whole, because it will be too much, too dazzling. You cannot look at the sun directly; it will destroy your eyes. That is the meaning of a master: he gives you God in quantities that you can bear. He gives you God in homeopathic doses, and he goes on increasing the dosage by and by. The more you become capable of absorbing, the more he gives to you. One day, when you are ready to face the sun directly, he simply disappears. He is no longer between you and God.
It is just like when you start learning swimming: first you learn in shallow water, just on the bank. It’s natural, it is intelligible, it is practical. Then as you are becoming more and more capable, you start moving towards the deeper parts of the river. One day you are ready to go into the ocean.
When you come to me, allow me to be there rather than insisting for your own presence. You dissolve; let me be there. You open your doors and windows and allow me to pass through you. Much will happen that way. Nothing is going to happen by your questions because they are nothing but irritations in the mind. But I always see that whenever people feel full of awe, they start defending themselves. Then they undo the whole purpose. Don’t defend. If you defend, then how am I going to help you? There is no way – I cannot help you against you. I can help you only with your deep cooperation. If you participate, only then can the journey start.
But many times I have felt it – many people would like to go on the journey, but when it starts, they start clinging to the place where they are standing, they don’t want to lose their ground. But then how can the journey start? You have to go on losing that which you have to attain to, that which you don’t have.
Jesus has said, “Those who want to follow me, they should deny everything, including themselves – they should deny themselves.” And he is right, but it takes a long time. Between a master and a disciple, that which can happen right this moment takes much time because the disciple goes on defending in many ways, rationalizing in many ways.
The Bauls say:
look for him in the temple of your limbs;
He is there as the lord of the world –
speaking, singing in enchanting tunes.
He is an expert at hide-and-seek;
no one can see him.
Do not try to catch him, O my heart!
He can never be caught.
You can only hope for him
in whole faith.
When you are deep in awe – and if you are courageous enough to remain in it – soon your consciousness will have a tremendous shift, a one hundred-eighty-degree turn. If you can remain in awe for a few moments without disrupting it, without corrupting it with your thoughts, your defenses, your rationalizations; if you can remain purely in it – not doing anything about it, just being in it – there will be a turn. That’s what Christians call “conversion.” It doesn’t mean that a Hindu becomes a Christian, that is foolish. It doesn’t mean that a Christian becomes a Hindu. Conversion means a great turning in your consciousness.