I feel so full inside that it overflows, and at the same time, so empty that it scares me. It seems a contradiction. Would you like to say something about it?
Life is not made of contradictions. It is made of complementaries. Only in the mind, do things appear to be opposite. Only in the mind, you cannot conceive how they both can be one. That’s why Euclidean geometry says that parallel lines never meet, but in fact, it has been discovered that parallel lines also meet.
This whole existence is a meeting of many dimensions. That is its beauty, its variety, its unending procession of celebration. If you think about emptiness, you cannot think that fullness and emptiness can be the same. But if you experience you will be amazed that what mind has been always proposing, and what philosophers have always been supporting, is absolutely absurd.
All philosophies are absurd.
Only experience is truth, not theoretical considerations about experience. We teach people’s minds contradictions: emptiness and fullness are absolutely contradictive. But when you come to a point of deep meditation, you are suddenly surprised and scared too, scared because of your conditioning – it is not supposed that emptiness and fullness should be one. But existence never bothers what your philosophers say, it goes on its own way.
When you are utterly empty, you are also utterly full, overflowing. In fact, emptiness itself becomes a tremendous fullness. Looked at from one side, you can call it empty; for example, if you remove all the furniture and all the junk from your house which people go on collecting…All are great collectors. If you remove the whole junk, the room, the house is empty of the junk, but in itself, it is for the first time full of itself. All that furniture and all those things were destroying its fullness.
The meditator is bound to come to the point when he has thrown all junk from the mind, and suddenly he sees that emptiness is there. And also there is a fullness of which logically there is no explanation – but it is not a logical process at all.
Your experience is tremendously meaningful. It shows that you have touched a deep point where opposites meet and mingle, when enemies become friends, when life and death are one; when emptiness and fullness are not two separate things, but only two separate names given by the mind.
Mind is so small, it cannot conceive such a vast phenomenon that life and death are one, that emptiness and fullness are one. It can conceive emptiness is emptiness and fullness is fullness. Those are the discriminations of the mind.
Meditation opens the doors of a vast world, existential not theoretical, where suddenly you are shocked for the first time that emptiness and fullness are one, life and death are one, that men and women are one. But it is not a question to be or not to be. Both are one: different names of the same reality.