When Hillary reached to the highest peak of the Himalayas, Mount Everest, all of the Western world reported it as a conquering – a conquering of Everest. Only in a Zen monastery in Japan, on a wall newspaper, it was written, “Everest has been befriended” – not conquered! This is the difference – “Everest has been befriended”; now humanity has become friendly with it. Everest has allowed Hillary to come to it. It was not a conquering. The very word conquer is vulgar, violent. To think in terms of conquering shows aggressiveness. Everest has received Hillary, welcomed him, and now humanity has become friendly; now the chasm is bridged. Now we are not unacquainted. One of us has been received by Everest. Now Everest has become part of human consciousness. This is a bridging.
Then the whole thing becomes totally different. It depends on how you look at it. Remember this before we enter the techniques. Remember this: Tantra is a love effort towards existence. That is why so much of sex has been used by Tantra: because it is a love technique. It is not only love between man and woman; it is love between you and existence, and for the first time existence becomes meaningful to you through a woman. If you are a woman, then existence becomes for the first time meaningful to you through a man.
That is why sex has been so much discussed and used by Tantra. Think of yourself as absolutely asexual – as if all sex were removed from you the day you were born. Just think: all sex was completely removed from you the day you were born. You will be unable to love; you will be unable to feel any affinity with anyone. It will be difficult to get out of yourself. You will remain enclosed, you will not be able to approach, to go out to meet someone. There in existence, you will be a dead thing, closed from everywhere.
Sex is your effort to reach out. You move from yourself; someone else becomes the center. You leave your ego behind, you go away from it to meet someone. If you really want to meet you will have to surrender, and if the other also wants to meet you he will also have to move out. Look at the miracle in love – at what happens. You move to the other and the other moves to you. He comes into you and you go into him or into her. You have changed places. Now he becomes your soul and you become her soul or his soul. This is a participation. Now you are meeting. Now you have become a circle. This is the first meeting where you are not enclosed in the ego. This meeting can become just a stepping stone toward a greater meeting with universe, with existence, with reality.
Tantra is based not on intellect, but on heart. It is not an intellectual effort, it is a feeling effort. Remember this, because that will help you to understand the techniques. Now we will enter the techniques.
The first technique:
Be the unsame same to friend as to stranger, in honor and dishonor.