The first question:
I want to become enlightened. Why don’t you help me?
What do you think I am here for?
As far as my own work is concerned, it is finished. I am here just for you. And all that I can do, I am doing, and all that you can do to prevent it, you are doing. It is a tug-of-war. It is a conflict between the master and the disciple.
Remember, it is a conflict. The disciple remains contradictory in his desire. He wants to become enlightened, but he wants to become enlightened as he is. He does not want to change, that’s the contradiction. You would like to go to heaven, but as you are. That is impossible.
As you are, you cannot become enlightened. Great chunks of your being will have to be cut and thrown away. It will be almost like committing suicide. It is painful, it is immensely painful, because you have always thought of those chunks that have to be chopped away as your being. You have become identified with them so much that you shriek, that you scream, that you escape; that you shrink, that you close yourself.
I understand the question and the desire. Yes, you would like to become enlightened, but you would like to become enlightened very cheaply, without going through any pain, any suffering. And growth comes through suffering. It comes through great pain, it is arduous, one has to pay for it. And the payment is not in money; the payment is very deep. The payment is your innermost sacrifice. The disciple has to disappear.
I go on helping, but a little cooperation is needed from your side.
A man met a pretty girl and fell in love with her. He took her rowing one day and she fell overboard. He grabbed her hair and a wig came off in his hands. He reached for her arm and an artificial arm came off likewise.
He said, “Listen, sweetheart, if I’m going to be able to help you, you must cooperate a little.”
That’s what goes on happening between me and you. You must cooperate a little. And I know that sometimes you cooperate, but your cooperation is also only cooperation in appearance. Deep down you remain resistant. Even while you surrender you go on watching from the corner of your eyes – how far to go? – and you go only so far, and you go with absolute control that if it is needed you can go back. Your surrender is not a journey of no return. And unless it is a journey of no return, it is impossible for me to help you.