The first question.
Can cowardice and hypocrisy also be beautiful? Can I accept even my cowardice, my hypocrisy, my miserliness and a tendency toward privacy that you yourself have called “idiocy”? And if I accept such tendencies, all of which tend to bottle me up, how will I get free?
The very desire to be free keeps one unfree. Every desire is a chain, a bondage, an imprisonment. No desire can ever be fulfilled. By dropping the desire, its fulfillment happens.
Now, the greatest desire in the world is that of inner transformation. The desire for money is nothing; the desire for more power, prestige, is nothing. The greatest desire is the so-called spiritual desire. And once you are caught in that desire you will remain miserable forever.
Transformation is possible, but not by desiring it. Transformation is possible only by relaxing into that which is, whatsoever is. Unconditionally accepting yourself brings transformation. We will have to go deeper into this phenomenon because this is not only Ashoka’s question, it is everybody’s.
Man is in misery, man is in anguish; hence everybody is searching for a state of bliss, a state of unity with existence. Man feels alienated, uprooted; hence the desire is natural – how to get roots into existence again, how to be green again, how to be blossoming again?
These few things have to be meditated upon. First, to establish that perfect unity, consciousness must first unify itself in terms of all its personal aspects by rejecting nothing which is experientially real in itself. This is the first thing to be understood.
You feel fear. Now the fear is an existential reality, an experiential reality; it is there. You can reject it; by rejecting it you will be repressing it. By repressing it, you will create a wound in your being.
You feel cowardice. You can manage not to look at it, but it is a fact, a reality. Just by not looking at it, it is not going to disappear. You are behaving like an ostrich. Seeing the enemy, seeing the danger of death, the ostrich hides its head in the sand. But by hiding his head in the sand, by closing his eyes, the enemy does not disappear. In fact the ostrich becomes more vulnerable to the enemy. Thinking that now there is no enemy because nobody is seen, thinking that seeing is the existence of the enemy, now the ostrich is relieved of the fear, but he is more in danger. The enemy is more powerful because it has not been noticed. Something can be done if the ostrich does not hide its head.