Then there is your mind. It has its own autonomous world, it moves in its own circles. Even when you are meditating it goes on doing things. Then there is your heart, the emotive center. So these are the three basic centers – the heart, the emotive center, the mind, the thinking center, and your body, the center for all motion, all activity.
When you work on your body and something happens there, it may take days for the mind to take note of it, because its first tendency is not to take note. It may be just a passing thing, so why worry…but if it insists, if it goes on knocking on the head, the mind starts taking note of it. If something happens in the mind, the body will not take note of it – it may be just a mood, it may not be anything essential – but if the mind goes on deepening and deepening it, then one day the body takes note of it; then suddenly there is a bridge and the recognition arises. The same is with the heart – and when all three meet on one point there is recognition. Sometimes the meeting may not happen for months. I have seen people who have lived for years before they become aware that something has happened, but by that time they have forgotten the cause of it – so much time has passed.
So there are delayed results, and the discomfort may be because you are trying to correlate, to adjust between these three angles of your being, so a center arises. An integrated feeling arises which is of the heart and the body and the mind, to which all contribute, and which is something which doesn’t belong to anyone; it belongs to all. It surrounds your whole being like a glow. It takes time…but it has been good.
Whatsoever you are feeling, nourish it, cherish it, and help it to continue in you.
I enjoyed the group and I liked being alone after it finished.
After intense activity one needs to be completely in solitude; not doing anything, just being. If you miss that opportunity then the whole point of the group is lost, because the group simply creates a situation, brings a climax. It is just like sexual orgasm: it brings you to a climax, to a tense state, to the very ultimate possibility in you. Then everything relaxes; then you come back and settle again. This coming back, this returning home, is the most beautiful process.
But this is possible only if you have been really in the active part. The problem arises if while people are doing it they start thinking of rest, start thinking that activity is useless and that they would like to be alone – then everything is disturbed. But if you have done the process truly and authentically it will have led you to a peak. Then you will come back; you will fall in the valley like a dry leaf…just falling slowly…and then you will settle and go into sleep.