You can define marriage, you cannot define love. Even a court can decide what marriage is or is not, but nobody can decide what love is. Marriage is legal; love transcends all legality – something of the unknown penetrates into love, into the phenomenon of love.
Inner balance cannot be pinned down, you will have to find the knack of it. And you can find it – because if I can find it, why not you? If Lao Tzu can find it, why not you? If one man finds the inner balance, the inner tranquility, the inner still small voice, the inner knack that passeth all understanding, then every human being becomes capable of it. In Lao Tzu is your future, your possibility. You can also do it.
You say: “My mind is in such a state of confusion that it is impossible to remain in the middle.”
Don’t try to remain in the middle, forget about the middle. You just try to be balanced. Move into the opposites but always remain alert so that someday you can find the balance between the two. And you are doing it – only awareness is needed. Just a moment before you were happy, then in another moment you are unhappy. You have moved to the opposite. You must have passed through the middle. How can you move to the opposite without passing through the middle? Maybe you passed it for only a fragment of a second, but that is not the point; you passed it. If you had been a little alert you would have known where the middle was. Just now you are so silent, then a single minute passes and your whole mind starts chattering. You must have passed the middle somewhere.
When a man dies he is alive just a moment before, then he is dead. If he is alert he will find the middle which is beyond death and life, which is deathless. But he is not alert. You have died many times; millions of times, in fact, you have passed the middle but you are not alert. And every day you pass the middle many times, thousands of times: compassion and anger; a man feeling so good and suddenly so bad, a man feeling so saintly in the morning.… Look at people praying near the Ganges or in the temple – look at their faces, so beautiful. The ugliest faces become beautiful when there is prayer. And then look at them in the market – even the most beautiful face looks ugly. They must have passed it somewhere – from the temple to the market there must have been a middle point – but they were not aware.
So what is to be done? Don’t try to be in the middle. I’m not saying try a little anger and a little compassion together – no. I’m not saying try to be in the middle – you will go mad. I am saying move from one opposite to another, but move so alertly that you can find the middle point inside you. The moment you find the middle point, for the first time you become the master of your life. Up to now you have been just a slave. For the first time you become awake – up to now you have been fast asleep.
And the second part of the question: “Would not it be better to follow the mind in all its extremes so that I can experience the whole absurdity of it?”